A great day, but...

Michael had a fantastic day today – he had his best day ever at school, he received his Project Lifesaver transmitter after school with no fussing, and he had a great time at his auditory integration therapy. So why am I so depressed? I feel so fortunate that we were able to get the transmitter, but depressed that we still really need it. I guess part of it is that we work so hard to get him all the biomedical interventions he needs, and we still have so far to go.

I keep reading stories of children who do biomed for a few months and have miraculous recoveries. Even if they aren't able to lose their diagnosis, they can mainstream at school and participate in family functions. I'm struggling so hard to find an appropriate placement for Michael, and he still has really bad days as often as good ones. I know I shouldn't complain, and I am truly grateful for all the progress we've seen.

It's so hard to read about children enjoying the holidays and knowing that I am dreading this holiday more than any other. Kids are supposed to like this time of year. And there are things that Michael loves – the winter lights, baking cookies, and spending time with family. But, he doesn't really 'get' the whole gift exchange thing, and is just as likely to melt down over a present being opened as enjoy it. And, even though he had a lot of fun decorating the tree, he won't let me turn the lights on to enjoy it. But, we take one day at a time, and it will eventually get better, right?

Flight Risk Realized

Michael ran away from school today - he actually made it outside the building. His class was in line after PE, and the teacher was bending down to help another student with his jacket. As soon as she was distracted, Michel walked away. Someone happened to be walking in the front door of the school, and out he went. If someone else didn't see him walk out the door, they wouldn't have started looking for him outside. They did catch him fairly quickly, but it could have been a lot worse. I am so thankful that Michael has such a great guardian angel.

This isn't the first time he has wandered at school – it's actually the third. Every time he seems to get further. I have looked into a program called Project Lifesaver, which would allow the police to find him quickly if he wandered far enough that he couldn't be found. But, I am nervous about that, too. The key to the program is attaching a GPS device with radio and cellular frequencies to his wrist or ankle. I have heard many times that we are supposed to limit his exposure to electronics, and this would be attached to him 24/7.

Does anyone have any experience with this? Any advice for me? I'm pretty much at wits end right now and not at all sure what to think.